Higher Education

Men, Emotions and Relationships

Historically, the consensus was that women are more emotional than men. Indeed, today many women still define themselves as more emotional than men. Over the past few decades many male clinicians, who have much experience working with men, have been disproving this idea. They have concluded that the majority of men have been socialized in a manner they refer to as, “brutal,” which teaches boys to repress and deny their emotions. In 1995 the American Psychological Association formed a new division called the, “Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity,” to gain more insight into the psychological effects of this socialization process.
This process has created many problems. To relate well to others, we need to know what we are feeling. Emotions give us valuable information. If a child is taught, during his formative years, that men do not, or should not have feelings, he will learn to ignore and repress the information he receives from his feelings and become overly reliant on his intellect. And while our intellect is a wonderful part of our brain and does great things for mankind, emotions also do great things for mankind. Several theorists believe that awareness of our own feelings may result in our treating other’s, and the earth, in a more pro-survival manner. Ideally, thoughts and emotions work in synchronization.
Daniel Goldman’s book “Emotional Intelligence” (1996) introduced the concept of emotional intelligence into popular culture. Efforts to understand and explain emotional intelligence began with Charles Darwin’s work concerning the importance of emotional expression for survival and adaptation. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, assess and manage one’s own emotions as well as the recognition of emotions of others. When we shame a child for having feelings, we separate him from an important source of information.
Aelexithymia is a condition in which an individual cannot know, label and think about what he is feeling. Dr. Ron Levant, a psychologist and professor, who is a pioneer in the study of the psychology of men coined the term “normative male aelexithymia.” According to David P. Wexler in his book “Men in Therapy; New Approaches for Effective Treatment,” (2009) this term refers to, “the emotional patterns of boys who grow up to become men who are unaware of their emotions and even of their own bodily sensations. They rely only on their cognitive descriptions, analyses, and opinions. Because of this gap in self-awareness, many men are limited in utilizing the simplest and most effective method for dealing with complex feelings and difficult moods; that is, identifying, thinking about, and expressing feelings.” The term does not mean that this condition is normal or healthy; it indicates that the condition is so widespread that it can be considered statistically, “normal.”
To develop a healthy relationship with anybody, we must know what we are feeling. It is through awareness of our own feelings that we can empathize with others. When we know how we are feeling, internally, about something another person has done or said, that emotional knowledge combined with intellectual understanding helps us make reasonable, well rounded, choices concerning how to respond, externally. This is a valuable skill to use in our relationships with our intimate partner, our children, and others. Indeed, at this time, business schools are teaching managers the importance of empathy. Awareness of feelings is the first step toward being empathetic. Teaching our sons that men are not, or should not be emotional deprives them of this valuable skill and sets them up to fail in many areas of their lives. Even if a man is financially successful, he may still not be able to succeed at creating healthy relationships. A life filled with financial success, and everything money can buy, can be sad and hollow if it has no viable, loving relationships.
Men need to be as aware of their emotions as women are. The best time for these skills to be taught is during early childhood. At this point in our history, men are much more active as fathers. It is incumbent on them to read about and use healthy, positive parenting skills. An ideal parenting approach is for both mother and father to work together to raise emotionally intelligent children. Doing that involves a relationship between parents based in self-awareness and empathy. When a boy experiences his father as emotionally available and empathetic, he will naturally follow his father’s example. To do this, fathers need to become aware of their own feelings. They need to be able to identify and accept their feelings. Then they will be able to empathize with their spouse and children, while helping their children be aware of their feelings.
Men who have not been raised to be aware of their emotions can learn how to do so anytime they decide to learn. David Wexler, PhD, has several excellent books listed on his website. Steve Stosny, PhD, also has a website with articles and books that are valuable. Most good therapists can coach men as they learn how to become more aware of their feelings and how to cope with them. Individual coaching sessions are the most effective approach to change.

Higher Education

Moving Mountains: Re-Skilling the Firm Part 1

What does a firm do when the principal realises that the market has changed and his firm is not now best placed to meet the customer’s needs? What does a firm do to sustain competitive advantage through its people when those people as a whole are not up to par?
These are issues that face many firms today. Many were oriented and organised to meet the needs of an old paradigm, an old market state that was more tolerant of shortcomings and less fast-moving. In many segments, customers demand more service, higher reliability and more immediate response. It prompts some principals to lament that their people are no longer up there with the best. But what does a principal do? They re-skill the firm.
A critical part of the activity of re-skilling is establishing where the firm is now. The key thing here is to develop objective measures. This paper discusses a framework for measuring competence.
The key element of this is placing staff in one of four categories – Expert, Practitioner, Supervised Practitioner or Trainee. These categories are well defined and objective. Each staff member performs a job that comprises several roles. For example, a salesman may meet clients, write proposals and negotiate contracts. Each is a separate role requiring different competencies. The aggregation of jobs make up the total firm and hence scoring every role shows an assessment of the total competence in the firm.
The second part of any competence improvement programme is an assessment of what total competence management want the firm to have in order to meet the needs of its market and give it competitive advantage. For firms with clear business plans and objectives, this is a simple exercise in categorising each competence group, then saying how much of each level is needed to meet that business plan. Typically, for example, a firm of property developers will need one expert plumber, one or two practitioner plumbers, some supervised practitioner plumbers and a trainee plumber. Once the required competence set is in place, it can be compared to the measured set representing the firm today. Gaps will then be obvious.
The great thing about this is that it is a process. When measuring, no-one is saying that any single member of staff is not performing, simply that we need to capture the competence in a low-threat way. Nonetheless, the suspicion surrounding the activity must never be underestimated. It’s important that management communicate what the activity is about.
Once the ‘as is’ has been captured and ‘as wanted’ has been developed, it is then an issue about developing change management plans to bridge the gaps. In the next article in this series we’ll look at how one develops plans for change and what degree of success one can expect from these plans.

Higher Education

The Natural Reason for Humans to Be Vegetarian

This article will only help you to understand the natural reason for you to be a vegetarian. It is not necessary for you to suddenly convert but at the same time read through and decide for yourself. I always feel it is good to be rightly informed – don’t you?
Personally I have been through certain religious ordains and rituals which demanded me to be a vegetarian and abstain even from tea/coffee etc. I followed the diktats for a brief period and then a question arose in my mind – why should I blindly follow rules laid down by a group of fear-inducing sects? I took maters in my own hands and ate and drank what I was comfortable with, till I realized I could do without red meat and other extraneous dishes.
I have been enjoying a non-vegetarian diet for quite some years now till I read a book recently. It is a storehouse of knowledge and the knowledge is natural, not some formula or dietician’s menu. The information is so real and so simple! It is amazing that it has not been presented to us before in its most pristine form. I am not propagating any writer or religion or sect or any particular diet – I still indulge in fish and chicken and eggs occasionally but realization has reduced my urge and is making my decisions about food more sensible.
The book is called “The Holy Science” written by Sri Sri Swami Sri Yukteswar Giri. At first glance the name and the book sound like some Indian sage’s holy diktats – but it is not so, believe me. This book does not in any manner profess to be Hindu religious sacred epistle. No, in fact it is quite a scientific revelation into life and human beings in totality. It is a slim book of 122 pages and the ones I am referring to are from page 77 to page 87.
Page 77 has these two headings – “What is natural living?” and “What is natural food for man?” As you read on you learn the most simple and realistic basics about human beings. Everything is laid bare in its truest form about our natural cravings, our essential formation, our constitution and physique and the various parts of our body and their original function.
The information is real and yet so simple that it hits you with a jolt. You may wonder – ‘why did I not understand this before?’ Take for instance the first heading – “What is natural living?” has the following as answer – “Living depends upon the selection of (1) food, (2) dwelling, and (3) company.” It goes on to say – “lower animals can select these for themselves by the help of their instincts and the natural sentinels placed at the sensory entrances…” But man is a superior being and to know our natural needs, ‘we ought to depend upon observation, experiment, and reason.’
The next heading probes more into how ‘to select our natural food, our observation should be directed to the formation of the organs that aid in digestion and nutrition, the teeth and the digestive canal.’ The next page gives a detailed explanation of the teeth in the carnivorous, herbivorous and frugivorous animals. Our teeth structure strongly denotes us to be in the frugivorous category of animals, which means we were meant to live on fruits, nuts, grains and vegetables. Animals from the lower category adhere to their inherent way of living, but intelligent humans seem to have veered from the natural and instinctive habit of eating, drinking and living. It has only helped us to live unnaturally for generations and develop all kinds of sicknesses and illnesses – which in turn shortened our healthy longevity.
If you want to be more informed you can always go through this book and maybe bring about a healthy change in your own and family’s life. People like me do not obey strictures and rules enforced with just a sense of religion or anything else – I would rather understand the truth and then rearrange my priorities. I now know the exact truth in its simplest form and am progressing in the natural path steadily. I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all – hope I made some sense.

Higher Education

Tips To Treat Your Body Right Through Nutrition!

In today’s dietary universe, it is best to have an understanding of what the body needs in order to get the most nutrition each day. This is where good nutritional knowledge comes into play. Stick to the good tips in the article below to help you create a healthy diet that is nutritious.
Children generally want to do what their parents do. Involve your children when you are practicing good nutritional habits and preparing healthy meals. This will give you an opportunity to teach them the value of good nutrition and healthy food choices.
If you have diabetes, you face some needs that are unusually challenging. Fortunately, it is possible to maintain more control over the condition by sticking with basic nutritional guidelines. This allows more stability and greater control over blood sugar levels. They need to eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grain products and dairy products with limited fat in them. They should also ensure they’re eating at about the same time each day.
If you’re thinking of going into a diet (i.e. for weight loss), read some program reviews first. An in-depth look at the diet program can give you clarity on whether the diet program fits your need or not. For instance, reading through this Eat Stop Eat review reveals that it’s a fasting diet. You then have to ask yourself if fasting still matches your nutritional goals. You get the logic?
Add seaweed to your dinner plate for a healthy addition. Certain seaweeds like kombu, nori and dulse are very nutritious with a lot of minerals and vitamins. People living close to the sea have eating these plants for many thousands of years.
Dark chocolate is a much better alternative for your health than milk chocolate. This kind contains more of the compounds that make chocolate healthy than the others. Antioxidants like these bring up your good cholesterol numbers while depressing your bad ones. Make certain you select chocolate containing no less than 70% cocoa to reap the most benefits. Although you know it’s not all bad, still eat in moderation.
Make foods with plenty of vitamins A and C a key part of your diet. Both Vitamin C and A are crucial for nutrition, as they work as antioxidants. These antioxidants neutralize free radicals that can increase risks of various diseases and cause cell damage. The best sources of vitamin A come from animals, but carrots and broccoli are packed with vitamin A, as well. You can find vitamin C in citrus, strawberries, tomatoes and broccoli.
Processed grains have become so popular because many people prefer the taste over that of whole grains. There is no argument that white flour is a better choice for some baked goods. But overall, the whole grain baked goods have a much more complex taste and even help digestion due to their high amounts of fiber.
Always eat in moderation when you are deciding on a meal plan. If you eat too much, you can take in too many nutrients and fat, leaving yourself feeling out of sorts. This is damaging to your health because it reduces your internal functional processing.
Always give new healthy recipes a try. There are many easy recipes out there. You can even make protein bars with some healthy ingredients you may already have around the house. Also, oatmeal pancakes are great tasting and healthy for your body.
As you’ve witnessed, nutrition can tremendously improve your life. With proper planning, monitoring and some patience, your life will be healthier and happier.

Higher Education

Faith Centered Leadership: Wise Leaders… Foolish Leaders

Have you ever wished that you could give a colleague some wise feedback that would help him or her in their career, a project, or some aspect of their responsibilities? But you couldn’t because you recognized that they weren’t receptive to it, or they would have difficulty understanding it. You recognized that their perception or beliefs about what they were doing were so strong or deeply rooted, that it would be difficult for them to see any other point of view. You may have even recognized that this could develop into a serious professional derailer for the person. Maybe you carefully planned a moment in time to have the conversation, only for the person to rebuff your remarks and try to make YOU think that you were foolish.
As much as you wanted to help the other person, to help them see the folly of their ways, you knew that you had to wait until they WANTED to listen to you. You had to wait until they fell and got bruised and tried to figure out what happened and why… then maybe, just maybe you’ll be able to help them recognize how their own behavior or decisions contributed to their situation.
Realistically, none of us are completely wise or completely foolish. There are simply areas in our lives where we exhibit more or less wisdom (sometime a lot more or a lot less). The goal is to increase the areas where wisdom shines through; to seek the counsel of other people who are wise; to be able to recognize the difference between wise and foolish behavior.
This is even more important for leaders, because their wise or foolish decisions impact not only themselves but others around them. A CEO who makes an irrational or foolish product decision can drive the company’s stock downward effecting investors and employees. A CFO who foolishly covers up material financial information similarly damages the corporate reputation and subjects the firm to negative sanctions. The greater your responsibility, the greater your need for wisdom. The greater your wisdom, the greater responsibility will come to you.
So pursue wisdom with all your heart, mind and strength.
Faith Centered Leadership Words of Wisdom
Wise leaders know that they don’t know everything. Foolish leaders think that they do know everything.
Wise leaders don’t need to tell others how vast their wisdom is. Foolish leaders need to boast about the wisdom they think they have.
Wise leaders seek more understanding to make good decisions. Foolish leaders settle for little understanding to make poor decisions.
Wise leaders consider the source of information before acting on it. Foolish leaders run with information before checking its veracity.
Wise leaders aren’t afraid to stand alone. Foolish leaders generally stand with the crowd.
Wise leaders do what is right, even if others think it’s wrong. Foolish leaders do what is wrong, because others think it’s right.
Wise leaders anticipate the future consequences of their present decisions. Foolish leaders live in the present and ignore the future.
Wise leaders value the good in others. Foolish leaders mock the good in others.
Wise leaders are rarely wise 100% of the time, but they recognize and learn from their moments of foolishness. Foolish leaders are not as wise as they think they are but they seldom recognize all the foolish moments they have.
Wise leaders freely share their wisdom with others, because they recognize that the collective wisdom of a group will improve the entire team. Foolish leaders guard their moments of wisdom closely, as if by sharing it they will lose it.
Copyright 2012 Priscilla Archangel

Higher Education

The Indoctrination of the Antichrist: A Faith Without Works

The word ‘indoctrination’ rings pretty harsh on the ear, doesn’t it? The thought that for thousands of years man has been subjected to false knowledge that he thought to be true, but that turns out not to be is at best a hard pill to swallow. Yet however harsh the thought thereof may be, the reality of the indoctrination of the Antichrist on faith is of even greater concern. Why you may ask? Because the indoctrination of false knowledge has paralyzed faith to the point where it has become dead; void of any works.
The workings of the Antichrist: The cause of dead faith
It’s almost impossible to think that there could be such a thing as dead faith yet the Apostle James in writing of ‘faith without works is dead’ (James 2:20) brought this out. Under his instruction those he was writing to could correctly identify the context of the works that he was referring to as he was teaching and instructing them in the doctrine of Christ; meaning that they understood what he was saying because they had received the truth of the knowledge of Jesus Christ (doctrine of Christ). In speaking of works he was not referring to man’s benevolent deeds towards humanity or fleshly deeds by which holiness is supposedly measured, instead he was referring to the spiritual works that accompanies faith that makes faith living. After all, how can faith, which is the belief (the acknowledgement, molding to and submission towards) of the testimony of Jesus Christ which is revealed to man by the grace of God be made living with earthly works? How can God who is a Spirit be touched with physical things (physical works)?
He can’t.
In speaking of the works of faith, reference is made to the activity of acknowledging, molding and submitting to God. It’s very easy to claim the lip-service of God through acknowledgement, but the indoctrination of the Antichrist has man to believe that his efforts in working out his salvation is void of any works. This influence of false knowledge has led man to believe that the only religious activity that man is accountable to is in acknowledgement and without responsibility (conforming). Speak of the spiritual works of faith and man is quick to jump to defense and deny any sort: how deep the roots of indoctrination do go!
The indoctrination of the Antichrist (Satan) has led man to believe that He can touch God in any way that he wants to. The evidence of this indoctrination is seen in how people choose to believe that they are free to serve God according to their own ways. This is not true. This is a lie sown through the false knowledge campaign of the Antichrist Spirit. God has always set parameters for faith, always given instruction for faith and always given knowledge for faith; He has never instructed, nor has he authorized man to serve Him according to his own way, according to what man thinks works best for him, nor did he base faith on the premise of man’s feelings or emotions. This is not the working of God! This is the indoctrination of Satan.
False knowledge = faith without works
False knowledge has set a very wide parameter for faith with the many branches of the denominational tree branching out more and more each day; each with its own doctrine, each with its own beliefs, each with its own traditions and rituals. Converse to this though God is specific in saying in Eph 4:5, “One Lord, one faith, one baptism”. One, not the thousands of different denominations one sees today. Certainly evidence of the result of each man believing in God his own way, wouldn’t you say?
Faith without works is dead because in the end it is void of the substance of Christ. It is the works of faith that produces Christ within; Christ does not happen within the soul of man apart from these spiritual works. Man cannot will faith into fruit. Fruit is formed by abiding in the pattern that Christ set for our faith. God designed faith with man’s participation (activity) in mind: It is when the Father (witness) and the Son (record) agree that faith is made living. Only through this (substance of Christ within) are we known of God. The covenant of Jesus Christ sets the activity for faith to be made living.
Though the indoctrination of the Antichrist may be present now, it is the testimony of Christ that will live forever.